Just Another Typical Day with SG1
by Traci
Summary: SG-1 encounters a strange, yet oddly familiar planet.


Disclaimer: Not mine, none of them. Not SG-1 nor any of the cartoon characters mentioned here include, but not limited to, the Smurfs, Scooby, Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, Powerpuff Girls, etc…

Rating: G

Category: Humor - though if there's one for insanity...

Author: Traci

Archiving: Yes

Summary: SG-1 enters a strange, yet quite familiar, world.

Author's Note: This is completely for fun. Not trying to even remotely make it realistic. So... if you don't like plain old fashioned fun stories that are just goofy save yourself the time. And, um, this is what happens when you watch the Cartoon Network waaaaay too much hehehhee.

* * *

**_Just Another Typical Day with SG-1_**

* * *

"Well, this place looks eerily familiar," Colonel Jack O'Neill of SG-1 commented as he and his team stepped through the wormhole of the Stargate. 

Doctor Daniel Jackson, the team's anthropologist, glanced around. "If I didn't know better I'd say we just gated inside the Cartoon Network."

"D'oh," Jack mumbled.

Major Samantha Carter gave him an un-amused glare.

"What is a Cartoon Network, DanielJackson?" Teal'c asked. Since his time on Earth he had discovered many strange things he had not had on his home planet of Chulak, not the least of them being television.

Sam smiled. "Do you remember us trying to explain that show with the talking dog and teenagers who solved mysteries?"

Teal'c gave a nod and responded, "I do."

"The channel that show was on is the Cartoon Network. It's only a television network," she finished.

"I see." He, too, looked around. "I believe DanielJackson's observations may be correct. This place does have a strong resemblance to..."

"No!" Jack shouted. "We are not in ToonTown or Toonville or anything Toon. Let's just get our samples and head back. Maybe surprise Hammond by coming back early for a change."

Sam laughed and headed off in one direction while Daniel headed in another. They were just about out of sight of Jack and Teal'c when all four of them heard...

"Rover 'ere!"

"I did not hear that. I did not hear that," Jack muttered to himself.

"O'Neill, I believe you did hear that if I also heard..."

"Yeah, yeah. Carter! Daniel!"

His team had returned to his side just as a brown Great Dane wandered out of the woods. He stopped short at the sight of SG-1.

A tall, lanky guy wearing a green t-shirt ran out after him. "Scooby, you ate all..." He skidded to a stop. "Uh. Um..."

His friends, two women and another man, caught up to him.

"Jinkies," said the shorter woman with glasses. "They found a clue."

SG-1, for their part, stood in silence, mouths gaping open, and stared in disbelief until Jack stated, "We are not a clue." It was not going unnoticed by Jack how the football-built blonde male was eyeing Sam either.

The man walked up to Sam and held out his hand. "I'm Fred."

Sam politely took his hand and introduced herself. Finding he would not release her hand, she passed a glance of help to the Colonel.

Then the taller woman stepped between Sam and Fred. "I'm Daphne, this is Velma, Shaggy, and Scooby-Doo."

Jack, meanwhile, clicked his boots together three times. Daniel looked at him. Jack shrugged. "It was worth a try."

When all the introductions had been done, the humans and the animated characters just stood staring at each other.

"I suppose we should continue on with our search for the ghost," Velma finally said, breaking the silence.

"Of course you do," Jack added. "You meddling kids have fun. Don't get into trouble. Watch out for dark hallways," he called after them as they walked off until Sam slapped his arm. "Assaulting a senior officer, Major?"

"Yes," she said in the midst of her giggling. "Because if you didn't stop soon you were going to have one Major on your hands who would have literally died from laughter."

He smiled at her.

Daniel rolled his eyes. He was glad their flirting was back but sometimes it was just too much to watch.

They all raised their guns when they heard someone running in their direction. Then there were two distinct footsteps.

"Now what?" Jack asked.

"DeeDee, you are so stuuupid. I told you to stay out of my laboratory over and over..."

Suddenly a tall child with blond pigtails stopped in front of them.

"Oh no," Sam mumbled this time, knowing what was coming next.

"Oooooh," the girl stated with an overwhelming amount of enthusiasm.

"Carter?"

"Um, Sir, this is not..."

Her statement was interrupted by a very short boy wearing a lab coat literally running into Teal'c's legs. He looked up and his eyes grew wide behind his glasses.

"Um, meet Dexter and DeeDee, Sir."

"Huh? What?"

"She is correct. I am Dexter, child genius."

"Oh no, it's Carter when she was a kid," Jack teased.

Sam merely threw him a look.

Daniel stepped forward and looked at the girl. "And you would be...?"

"DeeDee," she stated, holding out her hand to take his. "Do you guys wanna see my Happy Unicorn Dance? Huh? Huh?"

"I do not believe that Unicorns are real..." Teal'c began.

Before he could finish music filled the air out of nowhere and she began dancing about.

Dexter put his hands over his ears and shouted, "DeeDee, no one wants to see your stuuupid dance."

"I agree with the kid," Jack whispered to Daniel. "Hey, Carter, don't supposed you want to dial us home like, oh I don't know, NOW!"

"Um, Sir, um... I noticed the DHD was broken right before Scooby showed up."

"Soooo... fix it?"

"I, uh..."

"I am a genius. I would be able to fix it," Dexter offered. "However, there would be no benefit to me so you are on your own." With that he walked off with his sister skipping happily behind him.

"Ya know, Carter, I take it back."

"What?"

"That wasn't you as a child. I don't think you could ever have been that obnoxious."

"Thank you... I think."

"O'Neill, do you not think it might be wise for us to make our way to the Stargate so that Major Carter and DanielJackson may begin working on it?"

While the team approached the gate a small being, perhaps two feet tall, ran by as quickly as his little legs would allow. His green helmet covered most of his face.

"I do believe I recognize that character," Teal'c stated.

"At least he left us alone," O'Neill said.

"Um, Jack, just one problem."

"Don't, Daniel. I don't want to know. Carter, get us out of here!"

"But Jack!"

"Eh-eh. I'm not listening." He put his fingers in his ears.

Sam, laughing, went to work on the DHD.

Daniel finally pulled Jack's hands away from his ears. "He's planning on blowing up Earth!"

"I told you I didn't want to hear it."

Carter looked up and all caught site of the short alien carrying a stick of dynamite.

"Carter, Daniel, stay here and work on this. Teal'c, you're with me." Jack grabbed his gun and both men headed off towards the alien.

"Sir, don't hurt him. He is kinda cute," Sam pleaded.

"Oh geez."

Approaching the alien as he began to push the stick of dynamite into a very large telescope, a telescope that made Jack just a slight bit envious, Jack whistled.

"Oh my, distractions, distractions," the alien muttered.

O'Neill bent down on one knee. "So, uh, tell me... just what are you planning on doing here?"

"If you must know, I am blowing up Earth. It distracts my view of Venus." With that the tiny alien wandered away from the telescope.

Teal'c tilted his head. "Do you not consider him a threat, O'Neill?"

"Nah," he responded. He grabbed the dynamite and removed the burning wick. "He really is harmless."

The tiny alien huffed, pulled out another plutonium modulator and lit a match, which Jack promptly blew out.

Looking up at Teal, he said, "Ya know, this is kind of fun after all." He turned back to the alien. "So, Marvin, after all these years why haven't you learned you can't blow up Earth?"

"Oooh, you are making me angry, very angry indeed," he hissed then shuffled off.

Jack stood up.

"Should we not pursue him, O'Neill?"

"Nah, it'll take him another few years at least to figure out what to do. Come on, let's see how the others are doing."

They stopped just short of the tree line when they heard Sam yell, "Well I don't know what to do about them short of stepping on them!"

They came into the clearing. All around the Stargate nearly a hundred little blue creatures were running around, getting in the way of Sam and Daniel.

"Oh, how smurfy!" Jack growled as he and Teal'c continued on to the gate. "So, kids, how's it going?"

Sam glared at him and Daniel huffed.

"Could you please get rid of them?" Daniel pulled his glasses away from Brainy Smurf. "If you don't I believe I may Smurf up very quickly!"

"Why, Daniel, I thought you and Brainy would have a lot in common." He looked down when something pulled at his leg. Looking back at him were the large blue eyes of a tiny blue skinned, blonde.

"Hi, I'm Smurfette." She smiled and batted her eyelashes.

It was then Sam took a step closer and was ready to drop-kick Smurfette out of existence when Jack stopped her. "She's not my type," he whispered to Sam, with a gleam in his eyes. "Although, if you wanted to try painting yourself blue…"

"Maybe in the next lifetime," she hissed, turning back to the task at hand.

By this time, Daniel found himself crouching down to talk to the Smurfs, to try and reason with them that they had work to do and needed to be left alone. It wasn't working too well.

Teal'c raised his staff weapon, ready to fire.

"Um, Teal'c, you can't blast them out of existence."

"Why not?" Daniel asked, clearly frustrated.

"Because…" Jack paused. "Because… well, we just can't."

"Whatever," mumbled Sam, who was pulling at wires.

Encouraging Teal'c to lower his weapon, Jack crouched down. "Look, guys, I know you're all curious and all, but they really need to get work on that without any distractions from little um, well, blue… things. So if you could just go run off to your little mushroom homes and let them work…"

Smurfette just stared up at him.

"Uh, look, kid, I'm not um… well, um.. you're not really my type." He felt horrible when he realized he was the cause of something he never thought he'd see - a tearful smurf.

"It's her, isn't it?" Smurfette accused. "She's all wrong for you, you know." With a sniff, she turned and led her fellow Smurfs away.

"Way to go, Jack," Daniel cheered.

"Yeah, yeah. Now… could you guys hurry a little bit before something else comes crawling out for us?"

"Um, Sir… how about flying?"

He closed his eyes. "I'm not going to look."

"Bubbles! How many times do we have to tell you that just because something looks cute, doesn't mean it is!"

"I'm not looking!" Jack repeated until, upon standing, his head bumped into something.

"Ow!" came a shrill in his ear. "Look out next time!"

"He didn't mean it, Buttercup."

Jack still refused to open his eyes. He did not want to have to face the reality of his niece's favorite cartoon characters…

"Um," Daniel began, again adjusting his glasses. Trying to get over the image of three little girls flying. "Exactly who are you?"

"We're the Powerpuff Girls," announced Blossom.

"Yes," added Bubbles, the blonde one. "We make people happy and save all the animals we can."

"Bubbles," Buttercup began. "We save people too, not just animals!"

By this time, Bubbles had flown over to Daniel and was staring at him, making him very self-conscious. "Hi," she said, shyness in her voice.

Sam chuckled getting an 'I'll get you back' look from Daniel.

"Looks like you've got yourself a little fan, Danny. Look, kids, we really have things to do here so if you could um... go save the world or day or something... anything away from here..."

Buttercup hovered by Jack. "You're not a very nice person, are you?"

Not able to contain the craziness of the overall situation, Sam burst out laughing.

"That will be enough out of you, Major!" O'Neill ordered.

And heaven help her, Sam tried to regain control, but it wasn't to be and so she fell to the ground in tears.

"Carter, I'm warning you."

Buttercup stared at the blonde human. "Is she alright?"

"She will be," Daniel offered.

"Yeah," Jack agreed. "So now if you three could, I don't know... fly away..."

"Come on, girls," Buttercup yelled. "It's obvious we're not wanted here." She glared at Jack one last time before the three flew off.

Sam was still on the ground, but sitting at least, wiping tears of laughter from her face.

"When you get yourself together, Major."

"I... I'm sorry, S...Sir." She laughed again.

Jack merely shook his head. "Hammond's gonna have us all locked up over this one."

"O'Neill."

Jack growled. "What is it this time?" He turned around and froze.

"I believe this apparition is commonly referred to as the Grim Reaper on Earth," Teal'c offered.

Sam stopped laughing as they all stared at the tall skeleton draped in a black robe.

"Grim, stop it!" a young girl snarled.

"Aw, Mandy, please. It's been so long," he begged.

"Hey, this is cool."

Sam turned around just in time to yell, "Don't!" to the boy picking up a zat gun. It was too late. The child aimed it at himself and shot.

"Great," Mandy said. "Come on, Grim. We've got to get Billy back to somewhere where he can't get himself killed."

"There aren't many places like that," he replied, still glancing over the SG-1 team.

Mandy stopped next to Billy. "Grim! Leave them alone."

"Aw, Mandy," he sulked, going over to drag Billy along with them as they continued on.

"Okay, Carter," O'Neill began. "I think that is definitely our cue that you'd better find some way, and I don't care how, to get that thing working and fast!"

"Yes, Sir."

Within less than an hour, Sam managed to get the DHD working enough to at least dial once.

* * *

Carter was about to press the last code when they heard a very loud… 

"D'oh!"

She looked over at O'Neill. "Sir."

"Eat my shorts, Homer."

O'Neill grinned.

"Sir, we have to go now."

"Come on, Carter, a few more minutes isn't going to hurt us."

Daniel merely rolled his eyes and Teal'c watched as a family of five walked towards them.

"Colonel," Sam warned.

"Wow, you got this working." A young girl walked over to Sam. "I'm Lisa and I would love to know how you got this going."

A slightly older boy with spiked hair walked over to Jack. "I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you."

O'Neill looked at Carter. "Can't we please stay for another half hour?"

Carter glared at him.

"Bart!" sounded a familiar scratchy voice. "Where are you manners?" The woman with tall, blue hair approached O'Neill. "I'm sorry for Bart's abruptness. I'm Marge Simpson. That's my husband, Homer over there uh…" Upon observing him drooling over the donut shaped Stargate, she continued that no further. Her eyes returned to Jack. "You look… familiar. Have we met before?"

Grinning like a fool, Jack shook his head. "No, not formally. Jack O'Neill's the name."

Then the two voices that made them all cringe.

"Thelma, look, it's MacGyver!"

He turned just in time to see Marge's two older sisters running full speed at him. "Carter. Gate. Now!"

"Yes, Sir," she smirked and pressed the last symbol.

The gate whooshed.

"Oh my!" Marge exclaimed.

"Marge! Marge, don't let him get away. That's MacGyver!" shouted the sisters.

Without another word, Jack shoved his team through then stepped through himself.

* * *

Sam turned around on the platform to face Jack. "You do look like MacGyver, Sir," she whispered. "Missed your big chance to stay with your favorite TV family." 

"And we will never speak of this again, Carter." However the twinkle in his eye let her know he was more amused than angry.

Hammond met them at the end of the platform. "Well?"

"Yes, General, very well," Jack commented as he walked off. "Thank you for asking."

Sam stifled a laugh and followed after him while Daniel broke into a sneezing fit and had to rush to the infirmary.

Hammond looked to Teal'c. "What happened?"

"Have you ever watched the Cartoon Network?" he asked as the two men walked out of the room.

* * *

The End (hopefully your sanity is still in-tact cause mine is missing.) 


End file.
